Uh-oh: is a wedding guest trying to include a plus-one to your wedding? Nip that in the bud or you’ll have trouble later on. Read on to find out how to say no to extra guests at your wedding without causing a fuss. Subscribe for the latest to your inbox!
The line on the RSVP card is for including your name and your guest’s name if invited. It is not a good place to ask questions about bringing extra wedding guests or plus-one requests. ;)
When it comes to wedding guest lists, it can get tricky when it comes to adding plus-ones for your guests.
Who gets a plus one? Who doesn’t? How can you ensure everyone is happy and able to bring a guest… without breaking your budget? Once you’ve decided on your guest list and it’s final, you’ve sent out invitations, and those RSVPs start trickling in, you may receive a few surprise requests.
Sometimes, a guest will request a plus-one be added to your wedding list.
It’s a surprising ask, but it happens more often than you may think, and it typically happens on the RSVP card. They’ll write a little note: “Please can I bring my boyfriend/girlfriend/etc.?” And while they mean well, it can cause stress to you because you’re not expecting any surprise plus-ones.
In one way, it’s better they ask than just assume and bring extra wedding guests, right?
But still, it’s not a polite way to respond to an invitation for an event.
So, let’s discuss how you can politely say no to extra wedding guests or surprise plus-ones ahead of your wedding day. This is especially important to tackle head-on because you cannot afford to add plus-ones at the last minute, it won’t work with your place settings and table arrangements, and furthermore, it’s not polite to do so. In addition, unless you’re able to add on plus-ones to everyone in attendance, it’s not really fair to say yes to one and no to another.
So, let’s navigate it together. Here’s exactly how to politely say no to the extra guest request for your wedding.
How to Say No Politely to a Plus-One Wedding Guest Request
So, what happens when a wedding guest asks to bring a plus one? If someone is urging you to add extra wedding guests and your list is already final, it’s time to be direct and say no — but politely. In this wedding video, I’ll answer the question based on a wedding advice question that popped into our inbox recently. A bride was flustered because her cousin asked to bring her boyfriend as a plus one and wrote it onto the RSVP card.
Now, if you prefer to read, here’s the polite way to say no extra guests, in writing.
How to Say No to Plus-One Requests for Your Wedding
• Say No
It can be tough to say no, am I right? But in situations like adding a plus one to your wedding list, it’s important to say no and be direct — but kind! — about it.
Be honest, direct, and friendly.
Reach out to your cousin/colleague/friend/family member and inform them that unfortunately, you’re not going to be able to include the guest per their request.
Optimally, you’ll want to reach out by phone. Messages like this are best delivered with voice, so they can hear you’re not upset or bothered by the request, but rather wish to inform them of the answer. If you must, you may email or text (but etiquette dictates a phone call works best in this situation).
What to Say Concisely and Clearly
Here’s exactly how to say it:
“Hello! I received your request to add a plus one to our wedding. Thanks so much for responding! Although we’d love to include xyz, we are unable to due to…”
Then, choose one of the following that suits your situation:
1.) budget, or
2.) guest list, or
3.) space limitations
Etc.
Although you may really want to say, um, we’re not inviting them because we don’t want to, that’s not a polite way to decline wedding guest requests. So leave that part to yourself. ;)
Then, in closing, add the following:
“I hope you can understand. And we really hope you can make it to the wedding! We’d love to see you.”
Then, leave it at that.
Don’t continue talking about it or bringing it up; it’s a Plus-One Faux Pas and it happens! Roll with it. You’ll be a happier, less stressed-out bride as a result.
I hope this helps you say no to plus one requests calmly and confidently. It happens more often than you may think and it’s a good idea to take care of it swiftly. :)
Have questions? Just email or comment below and I’ll swoop in to help.
Happy Planning!
xo
Emma
