Do you have everything you need together and really just want to ask for money for your wedding? If you want cold hard cash instead of traditional toasters, towels, and trinkets, we’ll show you how to ask for money as politely as possible.
This blog post is inspired by a question from Maddie, who writes us on the topic of how to politely ask for money as a wedding gift. She writes,
“Dear Emmaline, I’m registering for my wedding but my fiancé and I already have everything we need together and I can’t think of what we could really use, except money! But I know it’s not polite to ask for money as a wedding gift. Do you have any tips on how to ask for money instead of wedding gifts and suggestions for where to register? Thanks so much!”
Is it ok to ask for cash instead of wedding gifts?
Ah, the age-old question: how to ask guests to give money instead of traditional wedding gifts.
It’s not wrong to want money, but it’s tricky when it comes down to asking for it. Luckily, the year is 2022 and there are modern advances in the traditional registry, so politely asking for money as a wedding gift isn’t as taboo as it once was.
In this blog post, you’ll learn three easy ways to let guests know you’d like to receive money in lieu of traditional gifts.
But before we get to the thick of it, let’s keep one thing in mind about etiquette: gifts are given freely. Some guests will still purchase traditional gifts for your wedding, and you should accept them graciously.
Go with it. Be grateful for anything you receive.
Guests will give anything they wish, and whether it is money or a tangible gift, you should appreciate anything you receive. Some guests prefer giving a present: they want to commemorate the occasion with a gift and give you something fun to open. Moreover, money can feel like too impersonal of a wedding gift for some guests and that’s OK. Be courteous and gracious with any kind of wedding gift you get. It’s the thought that matters most!
Now, for the others who are more than happy to skip a registry and hand you some money towards anything you really need or want, here’s how to ask for it properly.
Is it wrong to ask for cash instead of wedding gifts?
It’s not wrong to want money instead of gifts, particularly if you already have everything you need together. There are polite ways to go about it, though, and we’ll show you here the proper etiquette of asking for money instead of wedding gifts.
How to Ask for Money for Wedding Gifts Instead
Here is how to ask for cash instead of wedding gifts.
1. Use a cash wedding registry.
The first rule of thumb is to use a wedding registry that allows guests to give money as a gift. There are several reputable places to do so with one that works great for both traditional and cash registries: Zola. They offer a traditional registry paired with a cash registry for weddings, and they don’t collect any fees on the cash you receive. Start your registry here.
Another option? Honeyfund. It’s a cash wedding registry that is great for asking for money as a wedding gift or registering for funds to go towards your honeymoon.
You can get started here.
2. Do not ask for money in person or on paper.
Never ask for money on your wedding invitations, in conversation, or anywhere! It is considered rude to do so. Instead, you’ll simply create the registry which makes it easy for guests to give money, and then link to the registry on your wedding website. Here is an example:
(You can get a free wedding website here.)
In addition, the host of your wedding shower can include an enclosure card for your registry in the wedding shower invitation, too, so guests know where to shop, or add it as a line on the shower invite, like this:
And last but not least:
3. Add regular gifts to the registry, too.
You cannot simply ask for money as the only item. Have fun with it! You may not feel like you need anything, but surely there is something you can use. It is far better for guests to have a few gift ideas if they’re planning on buying you a present to open. Otherwise, they’ll still give you a gift, but they’ll have no idea what you want and will do their best to pick something out (and you may already own it).
How to Ask for Monetary Gifts vs. Regular Gifts on the Invitation
Do not put the request for monetary gifts anywhere on the invitation.
Don’t mention anything about accepting money only, as it is considered poor etiquette to do so. The registry, whether a cash registry or traditional gift registry, is never to be mentioned on the invitation at all. Instead, you’ll put a link to your wedding website where you’ll link to your registry. Guests can use it if they wish, or they may decide to give you something else.
There’s no reason to include a line where you ask for money instead of wedding gifts on the invitation; it comes off as rude to your guests, so avoid it at all costs.
Be Specific on Your Thank You Notes
When you receive a gift of money for your wedding, it is nice to tell guests how you plan to use the funds. A nice way to do it is on your thank you cards. You can mention it simply, such as,
“Dear Uncle John and Aunt Paula, Thank you for the gift of money for our wedding. We plan to use it towards our honeymoon / a new refrigerator / savings / etc. We appreciate your generosity. Thank you most of all for attending our wedding! It was great to see you. Love, _________”
Edit it as you see fit.
When guests give money instead of wedding gifts, they love to know it is going to good use, so it’s a nice thing to include if possible. :)
Hope it helps!