Home | Can You Invite Someone to a Wedding Shower and Not the Wedding?

Can You Invite Someone to a Wedding Shower and Not the Wedding?

by Emma Arendoski
Published: Last Updated on

Are you wondering if you can invite someone to the wedding shower that isn’t invited to the wedding? We’ll help clear the air on this common etiquette question. But first, subscribe to the newsletter for the latest to your inbox!

Here’s a wedding etiquette question that brides wonder all the time… and most recently written to us by bride-to-be, Brianne.

Can you invite someone to the bridal shower if they’re NOT invited to the wedding? This is a good question.

She is planning a fall wedding, but due to space restrictions of her reception venue, she cannot invite more than 100 wedding guests in total. However, she has more extended family, co-workers, and friends she wishes she could invite and simply cannot due to space restraints.

invite someone to bridal shower but not wedding

invite by paper sun studio

She writes,

“Can I invite a guest to the bridal shower that is not invited to the wedding? I have many extended family members that I could not invite to the wedding, along with some co-workers and friends. I want to invite everyone but just can’t, so is it OK to invite them to the shower even though they’re not invited to the wedding?”

Great question, Brianne!

I’ve heard this question posed many times. Unfortunately, I don’t think it will be the answer you’re hoping for.

Invite to Bridal Shower But Not Wedding?

No. As a rule of thumb, you should not invite any guests to the wedding shower that aren’t also invited to the wedding. By inviting them to the shower, you’re telling them they are important to you and, as such, should also make the cut for the guest list for your wedding.

Some people say it looks like a “cash / gifts grab”, aka a way to ask for more gifts. Others say it is just rude, asking someone to come to one event but excluding them from another.

I understand how restrictions on space for venues can be and I know that’s probably not the answer you wanted.

If you’re still set on inviting these guests to your wedding shower, there is only one option to do it etiquette-wise: change your venue and increase the number of wedding guests in attendance. This way, you can invite everyone to the shower (and all guests will be invited to the wedding).

By following this tried-and-true etiquette rule, your life will be much easier — you won’t have guests with hurt feelings.

Can You Have a Bridal Shower If You Are Having a Small Wedding?

On a similar topic, YES! You can have a bridal shower if you are having a small wedding but again, the same rule applies. You have to invite everyone from your bridal shower to your wedding.

Do You Have to Invite Everyone From the Wedding to the Shower?

Okay, now let’s switch it up a bit: do you have to invite everyone from the wedding to the bridal shower? No. Your bridal shower is a unique celebration that invites those closest to you. In order to do this, you should only invite your closest family and friends to the wedding shower. So, it’s the reverse: everyone who is invited to the shower must ALSO be invited to the wedding.

But not everyone invited to the wedding must be invited to the shower.

I hope that makes sense. :)

If you need more tips on the guest list, read: Here Is EXACTLY Who Gets Invited to the Bridal Shower.

Hope it helps!


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