Is it rude to NOT have a wedding registry?
It can be, but it may not be for the reason you’re thinking! In this blog post, we’ll show you the major difference between deciding to not have a wedding registry OR “no wedding registry, money only” wording on invitations. ;)
Yeah, there’s a big difference. Let’s discuss it so you don’t make a major etiquette mistake without knowing it, and show you the best alternative to do instead.
Are wedding registries outdated?
The old wedding registry is outdated.
You may already have everything you need together. Do you really need more towels and cookware? Maybe not.
These days, couples want things they’ll need, use, or can enjoy together, like experiences, funds to finish projects, or to travel.
And for some, it may feel awkward to ask family and friends to shop from a list of gifts and send them to you.
But I promise the wedding gift registry isn’t necessarily seen that way by your guests. Some guests really prefer a registry, and here’s why.
Modern Gift Registries Are Not Rude to Have
You may feel it to be rude to ask for gifts on a list, but guests see it as an advantage.
How else are they supposed to give you a gift they know you could actually use, don’t already own, or need?
A wedding registry eliminates wasteful expenditures on things you may already own (or won’t use).
Guests can:
► See what others have purchased, so there are no duplicates
► Get a sense of your personal style or purchase a gift they know you’ll actually use
► Buy something you want, but may not purchase for yourself
I Don’t Want a Wedding Registry
What if you still don’t want a wedding registry? You may be wondering if it’s rude to not have a wedding registry at all.
It becomes rude to NOT have a wedding registry when you specify on the invitation there is no wedding registry, cash only wording, so guests don’t bring you gifts but money only.
That may be true, but you certainly aren’t going to be saying it. Here’s the polite way to do it instead.
How to Register for Cash on Your Wedding Registry
Here’s how to make a wedding registry that asks for money without being impolite in 3 easy steps. I promise you’ll be glad you did this instead of wording “money only” on invites. 🤦
1. Make a wedding registry here: it’s modern!
First, you’ll need to make a gift registry. I know what you’re thinking, but this one has a modern twist: you’ll register here on Zola (it’s free) where you can ask for a mix of wedding gifts, gift cards, and cash for whatever you need or want.
2. Add gifts to your registry.
You’ll be adding some tangible items you like to the list and cash. You shouldn’t just add cash to it, but add a few items that you actually want/use/need.
You may think you already have everything you could possibly need, but think harder! Some guests insist on giving a tangible item vs. cash, and it’s much better to suggest something than end up with items you do not need or already own.
► Could you use a NEW cookware set because yours is old and could use an update?
► A tea kettle with a whistler that isn’t broken? ;) #SpeakingFromPersonalExperience
► A pair of these cool hammock chairs?
This is also a great place to ask for things you wouldn’t necessarily buy for yourself, but would appreciate as a gift. That’s what gift-giving is all about.
That cozy heated towel warmer, the set of gardening supplies to make your own, or the handmade products you’re eyeing on Etsy (yep, you can add ANY other registry, like your Etsy registry, to this list) are just a few of the fun things you wouldn’t see on a “regular” registry.
You have to remember that these modern gift registries aren’t outdated; they allow you to register for anything under the sun, a huge plus, and yes, money. ;)
3. Include cash gifts on your wedding registry.
Now, here’s the fun part: add cash as a gift option and I promise it’s A-Ok! You can add cash funds, gift cards, or both to your registry. Just don’t overdo it. You only need to add one or both as options and then guests will decide what they wish to give.
There are dozens of registry options on the web, so what makes Zola the recommended one here? I’ve tested several others, but Zola (and no, this isn’t a sponsored post) is the best option in order for couples to have a mix of both worlds.
You can easily add gift suggestions AND request money on your wedding registry without being rude.
Plus, guests feel confident using it as it’s been around for years and is trustyowrthy for sending cash. In addition, you can add OTHER wedding registries to it (hello, Amazon and Etsy!) so you can have one complete universal gift list.
• Zero-Fees on Cash: To top it off, there are ZERO fees on cash gifts, unlike other registries that take a percentage of your total fund amount (bummer).
• Free Shipping and Free Returns: There’s also free shipping and returns, so if something doesn’t work out, it’s not a hassle to return it.
I don’t want a wedding registry
If you’re still saying you don’t want a registry at all, have you considered a honeymoon? You can take a trip and not have a wedding registry by registering for honeymoon funds instead.
I highly recommend this as a honeymoon gift registry but do not suggest you use it to collect funds and use it on something else. If you truly want to register for a honeymoon, use the funds for it and then send photos to your guests (or it will be seen as an impolite cash grab).
Anyway, I hope this helps clear up the confusion of whether it’s impolite or rude to NOT have a wedding registry. Having one is a great idea. If you decide to skip it altogether, that’s totally up to you. You’re not necessarily automatically seen as “rude” by not having one. But guests will assume you just want money, and they may prefer to give you a gift you can open and utilize.
A Wedding Registry Is NOT Required
Now, if none of these options sound like a good fit for you, you don’t need to make a wedding registry.
If you don’t want gifts, cash, gift cards, honeymoon, anything — that’s cool, too. Don’t feel pressure to do something just because everyone else is doing it, or because you feel like you have to: you do not need a wedding registry.
How to Say We Don’t Have a Wedding Registry
If you opt for no registry, you may be wondering how to say it.
If you want to say, “we don’t have a wedding registry”, the best way to say it is by saying nothing at all. Avoid putting it in writing anywhere. You can simply skip over the ‘registry’ tab on your wedding website. And you don’t have to state there isn’t one; guests will get the hint and choose a gift themselves.
Remember, the most important thing to note is that gifts are to be given freely. A guest does not have to give you a gift, and that’s OK, too.
Moreover, if a guest gives you something that is not on a registry, that’s 100% acceptable. A gift registry is not a requirement, nor is it mandatory to use for gift-giving. Some couples will remember getting married and how they only wanted cash, and perhaps they’ll skip right over your registry and give you cash anyway. :)
Do you have questions? Let me know in the comment below and I’ll swoop in to help.
Get a Non-Traditional Wedding Registry Now
In the meantime, if you’re ready to build that gift registry, click here or the button below to get started. You may not believe it, but it can be sort of fun to make a wedding registry, especially when you build yours together. That’s the whole point!
xo
Emma
