Are you struggling to choose between two maids of honor for your wedding? This is a common dilemma that comes up for many brides. Having to choose between two close family members or friends is no picnic. However, there are some solutions to avoid conflict, and in this post I’ll share some helpful ways to make the best choice.
Consider Your Relationship with Each Candidate
First, decide who you would like to be in your wedding party. Who would make a great maid of honor? Write them down. Who would be a terrific bridesmaid? Add them to the list.
If you are finding it difficult to choose between two maids of honor, here’s how to evaluate.
Carefully consider the relationship with each potential maid of honor.
► How long have you known them?
► How close are you?
► What role do they play in your life?
► Who knows you and your partner best?
► Who has been supportive?
► Who has been with you through important milestones, happy times, and difficult moments?
Remember, you do not need to ask someone to be a maid of honor solely based on the fact you were their maid of honor in their wedding. Never let the pressure of asking interfere with choosing who is best for the role.
Availability and Willingness to Participate
You may have a close relationship with each maid of honor, but perhaps there is one who is best equipped to handle the responsibilities, time commitment, and roles of being a maid of honor.
► Does she have the amount of time commitment that is required?
► Does it seem like she would be a good fit for the role?
► Will she be helpful and supportive, or cause drama and uneasiness?
► Is she willing to assist with wedding duties?
Consider Personalities and Strengths
A few of the tasks required by the Maid of Honor is to host the bachelorette party, to maintain organization with bridesmaids, to assist the bride, show support, and make a speech at the wedding reception.
• Does one of your family members or friends have the personality and knowledge to fit the role best?
• Does one handle stress or communicate in a more effective way?
• Who is more organized?
Consider these attributes when choosing your maid of honor.
Support
Who offers more support of you and your partner? Being 100% supportive of the marriage is important, so be sure the maid of honor you select is in favor of your relationship.
Possible Solutions to Avoid Conflict
Now you may have one maid of honor in mind, and you’re worried about causing hurt feelings or conflicts by not being selected as the Maid of Honor. Here are some potential ways to fix this possible dilemma.
► Two Maids of Honor: Contrary to popular belief, you can really have two MOHs if that’s more your style. If you really can’t decide, it’s OK to have two maids of honor! Many people do this when they have two sisters or two best friends and simply cannot choose.
► One Maid of Honor: Have an honest discussion with the friend whom you did not select and let them know how important they are in your life, and that you would love for them to be a bridesmaid.
► No Maid of Honor: Sometimes, brides simply let go of the role altogether and have a crew of bridesmaids instead. This is sometimes done when there is too much conflict that arises from selecting just one maid of honor, or you can’t seem to find someone who can take on the role.
When you are ready to choose the maid of honor for your wedding, be sure to trust your intuition and make the choice that feels right to you. When in doubt, wait a bit longer until you ask. Sometimes, you need some time to process the engagement and make preliminary wedding decisions before you choose the maid of honor. Take as much time as you need. It is an important decision and isn’t one to take lightly.
► Ready to ask? Pop the question with one of these proposal gifts, or send a Be My Maid of Honor card like this.
I hope this helps! Are you struggling with this choice? It can be touch to choose between two maids of honor, so let me know if you need advice in the comment box below.
xo
Emma
