A wedding shower is a wonderful time to bring families together and celebrate the soon-to-be married couple.
But with all things wedding-related, it comes with its share of tricky etiquette questions: who throws the bridal shower? Who pays for a wedding shower? Who should get invited to the shower?
It can feel overwhelming, but don’t worry: I’m here to help.
In this blog post, I’ll tell you all the etiquette tips you need to know related to this fun occasion including who throws a wedding shower, who pays for a bridal shower, and who to invite.
You’ll also learn some helpful advice on when to host a wedding shower, how bridesmaids can (and should) assist in hosting, and the difference between a wedding shower vs. bridal shower.
As a result, you’ll know the most important wedding shower etiquette so you can be the one who throws the bridal shower with confidence and finesse. I just know you’re going to rock this whole bridal shower host thing. :)
I know that’s a lot to cover, so let’s get started!
For ease, you can click ahead to the section you wish to read, below:
• What Is A Wedding Shower?
• Who Pays for a Bridal Shower?
• Who Hosts a Bridal Shower?
• When to Host a Shower: Date + Time
• Who Gets Invited to a Bridal Shower?
• Do Bridesmaids Pay for the Shower?
• How Bridesmaids Help with the Shower
• How Many Wedding Showers Do You Have?
• Best Places to Register for a Shower
• How Many Registries Should You Have?
• Wedding Shower vs. Bridal Shower
• What Kind of Wedding Shower Theme to Have
Who Pays For a Bridal Shower
First things first: what is a shower? A wedding shower is a gathering of family and friends to honor the soon-to-be wed couple.
It is called a shower because it is the “showering” of gifts as they begin their married lives together.
The person who pays for a bridal shower is the host of the party. If someone offers to host a wedding shower, they assume all responsibilities of throwing the bridal shower and the costs associated with it.
This could be your mom, your partner’s mom, your moms together, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, grandmothers, friends, colleagues… the list goes on. Anyone can host a wedding shower for the couple but this person also assumes the costs of paying for the shower.
Can more than one person host a shower? Absolutely, and it happens more often these days. Let’s discuss hosts in the next section.
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Who Hosts a Bridal Shower
Anyone may choose to host a wedding shower. Traditionally, the Maid of Honor is the host of the event and serves the role during the shower, even if it is paid for by the bride’s mom, groom’s mom, or the couples’ parents together.
In some cultures, a family member will host and pay for the wedding shower so the couples’ parents may enjoy and relax as guests.
In some places, the Maid of Honor is who throws the wedding shower and pays for it, too.
In other instances, it is hosted by and paid for by the bride’s family or the groom’s family or the couples’ families together.
Did you know that according to traditional etiquette, it used to be a faux pas for the couples’ parents to throw a bridal shower? It was seen as a money grab or request for gifts. Therefore, someone else would be who pays for the bridal shower and host responsibilities, like the bridesmaids, friends of the couple, or distant family member.
It is very common these days for anyone to host a wedding shower for the couple and there is no longer a faux pas on it being hosted by a mother of the bride or a mother of the groom, or their families.
The bottom line is, a shower is a nice way to bring everyone together and celebrate the happy couple.
The only rule here on hosting is: the engaged couple should not throw themselves a wedding shower.
When To Host a Wedding Shower: Date, Time, and Location
When should you host a wedding shower? Here are tips on the best date and time to host a bridal shower for an engaged couple.
Date
The best time to host a wedding shower is a few months before the wedding. Three months prior to the nuptials is best, as it gives the couple plenty of time to prepare for the wedding without running too close to the big day itself.
In addition, they’ll need time to firm up some plans before the shower, including registering for gifts.
Time of Day
A bridal shower or wedding shower is typically held in the afternoon, from 12pm to 3pm or 1pm to 4pm on a Saturday or Sunday and lunch and dessert is served.
On the other hand, a couple’s shower is usually held in the evening, from 5pm onward and dinner and dessert are served to guests.
Location
Where should someone throw a bridal shower? You can host a shower anywhere you’d like!
Most of the time, a host will throw a wedding shower at:
• Their Home
• Banquet Hall
• Event Center
• Garden
• Restaurant
• Tea Room
It will depend on the season, size of the guest list, budget, and shower theme selected.
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Who Gets Invited to a Bridal Shower?
Who should be on the invite list for the wedding shower? This is an important topic, so I suggest reading: Who Gets Invited to a Bridal Shower for an in-depth discussion.
But for a take-away point now, remember: do not invite anyone to the shower who isn’t also invited to the wedding.
The shower invite list is typically reserved for the closest family members and friends of the couple.
Do Bridesmaids Pay For The Wedding Shower?
Bridesmaids are not expected to pay for the wedding shower unless they are hosting it.
They can contribute monetarily to the shower, if they wish. However, bridesmaids typically help out in other ways that may not involve funding the shower at all.
Offer to Help
Once the host announces they are throwing the shower, the Maid of Honor and the bridesmaids should offer their assistance, although typically this does not involve paying for the shower.
Bridesmaid Host Duties Before The Shower
The bridesmaids may assist in other duties that will be helpful to the host ahead of the celebration, including but not limited to:
► Assist in Compiling the Guest List
► Select or Mail Out Invitations
► Assemble Bridal Shower Favors
► Set Up Centerpieces
Bridesmaid Host Duties During The Shower
Most of the help required occurs at the shower itself. These duties may include:
► Setting Up Tables and Chairs
► Organizing Games and Awarding Prizes
► Placing Centerpieces
► Table Linens and Cutlery Set Up
► Decorating
► Serving Food, Drinks, or Dessert
► Writing the Names of Gifts from Recipients While The Couple Opens Presents
► Clean Up After the Shower
The host may not need any assistance, and that’s OK, too! It’s nice to offer in the event that they need the extra sets of hands. :)
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How Many Wedding Showers Do You Have?
How many showers does a couple typically have?
Most couples will have one shower thrown in their honor as an engaged couple.
Can they have more? Yes, of course: some couples have more than one shower held in their honor and it is usually due to the following.
Generosity of Coworkers, Colleagues, Friends, Etc.
Since anyone close to the couple fits the bill of who throws a bridal shower, you may have a few celebrations thanks to the generosity of your coworkers, colleagues, friends, or family members.
Different Hometowns
Having more than one wedding shower is common if you and your partner are from different states or locations.
Your family may wish to throw a bridal shower for you locally in your hometown. Likewise, your partner’s family may wish to host a wedding shower in their hometown, as well.
This is very common for modern-day couples to attend more than one shower for this reason.
How Many Wedding Shower Registries to Have
If you have more than one shower thrown for your wedding, you do not need separate registries. Maintain the same two or three registry lists for all.
It is easier to remain organized with the same registry lists for any bridal showers hosted in your honor if you need to return, edit, or add to your list(s).
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Best Places to Register for a Bridal Shower
There are several places to register for a wedding shower. I highly recommend having no more than three (3) registries and no fewer than two (2).
You want to give gift-givers options: offer various price points, retail locations in-store and online, and ease of shopping for bridal shower gifts. Some people favor online or in-store shopping at certain retailers more than others.
It is also recommended to have at least one of the registries at a physical location [and online], as some shoppers prefer to buy the item in person. You want to see what the gift looks like before making the purchase… and sometimes, guests need to purchase their gifts at the last minute and shipping may take too long. ;)
• Target Gift Registry
Register for gifts in-store and online in a variety of categories to suit your needs. Gift cards are also available on the registry.
• Zola
Register for cash, gifts from any site online, or add their own collection of nice gift ideas to your list.
• Etsy Registry
Etsy has a registry and it’s amazing. If you’re new to it, here’s the Best Etsy Wedding Registry Gift Ideas and tips on setting yours up to inspire you.
• Amazon Wedding Registry
A fan-favorite, Amazon is a popular choice for registering for your wedding shower. Guests can read reviews, purchase best sellers or shop directly from your registry. Fast and free shipping for many items is also a great way to save some money for your gift-givers.
• Honeyfund
Easily register for cash gifts to be used towards your honeymoon, needs, wants, etc. It’s the easiest way to politely ask for cash wedding gifts without being rude.
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Wedding Shower vs. Bridal Shower
If you’re wondering the difference between a bridal shower vs. a wedding shower is, here’s some helpful info.
A shower itself is the “showering” of gifts and glad tidings and well-wishes as an engaged couple prepares to marry.
It is typically held a few weeks to a few months prior to the wedding day and the couple registers for gifts ahead of time.
The term bridal shower traditionally refers to a party given in honor of the bride-to-be with or without her partner in attendance. For a bridal shower, it is customary for the ladies of the family, as well as female friends, to attend the shower and bring gifts to open.
In the modern day era, you can throw a bridal shower or a wedding shower, which can include the bride, the bride and groom, or a same-sex couple.
A wedding shower can be thrown for any engaged couple and while bridal shower vs wedding shower are often used interchangeably, they both refer to the same beautiful celebration of the soon-to-be wedded couple.
And last but not least, let’s talk about what kind of party to throw: here’s what kind of wedding shower theme to have.
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Wedding Shower Themes
You can choose any type of theme to make the shower even more festive. Here are some of the best bridal shower themes to use for the celebration. The theme will largely rely on when the shower is held.
Since most are held two to three months before the wedding, you may be planning a spring-filled garden shower for an upcoming wedding in the summer, while a wintry wedding may have a cozy fall-themed bridal shower.
• Fiesta Couples’ Shower
• Brunch Bridal Shower
• BBQ Wedding Shower
• Bridal Tea Party Shower
• Stock The Bar Wedding Shower
• Lemon Themed Shower
• Garden Theme
• Wintry Wonderland
• Fall Themed Shower
• Tropical Summer
The theme does not need to match or complement the theme of the wedding itself in any way. The two are separate occasions.
Here’s a video to recap: here on Instagram.
As you can see, there are perfectly-suited shower themes for any time of year and for any type of shower, whether you invite everyone as a couples’ wedding shower or keep the list small and honor the bride in her own bridal shower.
For more on themes, read: The 9 Different Types of Wedding Showers.
Now that you know everything etiquette-wise about the shower, you’re ready to plan! In this post, we covered who throws the bridal shower, who pays for the bridal shower, where to throw it, who makes a good host, and how bridesmaids can assist. We also covered valuable resources for wedding registries, wedding shower themes, and more.
If you need any additional assistance, let me know in the comment box below. Otherwise, you’re ready to plan! And the best party always starts with the proper invitation.
You’re ready to go to the next article: Best Wedding Shower Invitations.
I hope it helps!
