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Wondering whose name goes first on a wedding invitation? Or maybe you’re second-guessing the save the date you already sent (don’t worry, you’re not alone!) If you’ve ever stared at your invitation template whispering, “Bride or groom first?” you’re officially in the right place.
Today we’re breaking down the classic etiquette, the modern rules, and the “do-what-feels-right” options for wedding invitation name order. We’ll also cover whose name goes first on a save the date, plus name order for same-sex wedding invitations.
Let’s make this easy, friendly, stress-free… aka the only guide you need. 😉
So… Whose Name Goes First on a Wedding Invitation?
We get this question a lot because honestly, every couple asks this while fixing their fonts for the 45th time.
The traditional etiquette answer? The bride’s name goes first on both wedding invitations and save the dates. This guideline comes from the days when the bride’s parents commonly hosted the wedding.
So, classically speaking:
- Whose name goes first on a wedding invitation? — The bride.
- Whose name goes first on a save the date? — Also the bride.
For formal invitations, especially when the bride’s parents are listed as hosts, the bride’s full name (first, middle, last) is written first, followed by the groom’s full name and title.
Modern couples, however, often flip the order based on aesthetics, preference, or simply what “feels right” when you say it aloud. Let’s explore those options, too.
Wedding Invitation Wording: “Together With Their Families”
If you’re using “together with their families” wording, the traditional format still places the bride’s name first. Here’s an example for inspo:
No Last Name on a Wedding Invitation?
Going for a casual, modern, minimalist vibe? You can absolutely skip last names. First names + an ampersand = dreamy simplicity.
Just make sure your return address includes last names somewhere, otherwise Aunt Linda will panic-address her RSVP to the wrong place.
No Middle Names? Totally Fine.
Middle names are optional! Many couples choose:
- First names only (super modern)
- First & last names (classic but clean)
- First names with an ampersand (& always looks cute!)
Name Order for Same-Sex Couples
Here’s where modern etiquette shines: there are no strict rules.
Most same-sex couples choose whichever:
- Name sounds best first
- Name looks best first (design matters!)
- Flow feels most natural when spoken aloud
- Initials look nicer in monograms
- Alphabetical order feels fair and easy
Bottom line: You cannot go wrong. Play around with your template. Say the names aloud. Check the monogram. Pick the order that feels the most like the two of you.
So… Whose Name SHOULD Go First?
If you want the classic, traditional answer: The bride’s name goes first.
If you want the modern answer: Whichever name feels right.
If you want the traditional answer:
Whose name goes first on a wedding invitation? Usually the bride, unless the couple prefers otherwise.
Your wedding invitation should reflect who you are as a couple, not a dusty rulebook from 1890.
Final Thoughts
I hope this helps! And if you’re spiraling over your wedding invitation name order at 2 a.m.: take a deep breath. You’re doing great. The names you choose, and the order you choose them in, will look beautiful, meaningful, and perfect for your day.
→ Ready to order your invitations? Check out the 7 Best Places for Cheap Wedding Invites for 2026.
Happy Planning!
xo,
Emma
