Vow Books That Don’t Say His and Hers? — Ask Emmaline

If you’re searching for vow books that don’t say his and hers, you’re probably frustrated seeing the same traditional designs over and over. Whether you want gender neutral vow books, minimalist vow booklets, or matching wedding vow books without labels, there are beautiful options that feel modern and personal. In this Ask Emmaline post, we’ll help bride-to-be, Danielle, find vow books that resonate with her style.

Ah, I love when you guys write us with your hard-to-find questions! I don’t mind at all searching high and low to find what you need for your wedding. In this case, vow books that don’t say his and hers. Bride-to-be, Danielle, writes:

You got it, Danielle. And you are definitely not alone in this.

More and more couples are skipping the traditional “his and hers” wording for so many reasons. Maybe you want something gender-neutral. Maybe you’re in a same-sex relationship. Maybe you just prefer something minimal and modern. Or maybe you simply don’t like being told which book belongs to who.

Whatever your reason, your vow books should feel like you. Not a template.

Why Skip “His and Hers” on Vow Books?

Here’s the thing. Vow books are one of the most photographed small details of your ceremony. They’ll show up in flat lays, ceremony shots, and sometimes even in your hands during close-ups. If the wording on the cover doesn’t resonate with you, it can feel distracting in photos later.

Couples choose vow books without “his and hers” for a few common reasons:

• They want a clean, minimalist look
• They prefer matching books instead of labeled ones
• They want something gender-neutral
• They’re writing private vows and don’t want identifiers
• They plan to keep them as heirlooms and want timeless wording

If you’re nodding along, keep reading. I found beautiful options that are simple, modern, and anything but cookie-cutter.

Minimalist Vow Books (No Labels, Just Love)

If you love clean lines and neutral tones, look for vow books that simply say “Vows” on the front or feature no text at all.

Here’s what to look for:

• Linen covers in ivory, sand, or sage
• Debossed “Vows” in small type
• Blind-pressed designs with no ink
• Completely blank covers for ultra-minimal vibes

Because Your Ceremony Should Feel Like You

For some couples, “his and hers” feels outdated. For others, it simply does not reflect their relationship. Your ceremony details should feel aligned with your love story. Even something as small as vow books can quietly reinforce what matters most to you.

Choosing vow books without labels is not about rejecting tradition. It is about choosing intention. Here are our top picks for minimalist wedding vow books.

These photograph beautifully and feel modern without being trendy.

Matching Identical Vow Books

Instead of “his” and “hers”, consider getting two identical books. Same color. Same wording. Same everything.

This is especially popular for:

• Same-sex weddings
• Couples who like symmetry in detail photos
• Minimalist design lovers
• Couples who don’t want traditional gender labels

Pro tip: identical vow books look stunning in flat lay photography when styled with your rings and invitation suite.

Personalized With Your Names Instead

If you want something meaningful but not labeled by gender, personalize them with your first names instead.

Examples:

• “Danielle” and “Alex”
• Your wedding date only
• Your shared last name
• A short phrase like “Our Promises”

This feels intentional and unique, without the “his and hers” wording.

Modern Typography + Neutral Colors

If you’re tired of seeing the same rustic script everywhere, look for vow books with:

• Modern serif fonts
• All lowercase text
• Muted earth tones
• Matte covers instead of shiny foil

These design choices instantly elevate the look and make them feel current instead of traditional.

Where to Find Unique Vow Books Without “His and Hers”

Independent makers are your best friend here. Handmade sellers offer customizable wording so you can remove labels entirely or replace them with something meaningful.

If you haven’t found vow books without his and hers in a style you like above, try searching terms like these on Etsy here:

• “gender neutral vow books”
• “minimal vow books wedding”
• “custom vow books no his and hers”
• “modern vow books plain cover”

You’ll uncover far more options than the standard mass-produced styles.

What to Look For Before You Buy

Since you’re going for simple, pay attention to the small details that matter:

• Paper quality: Thick, uncoated paper is best for writing.
• Page count: Make sure there’s enough space for your vows.
• Size: Smaller books are easier to hold during the ceremony.
• Ink compatibility: Test your pen to avoid bleeding.

And always order early so you have time to write and practice holding them comfortably.

Need help writing what goes inside your vow books? Read our guide on how to write wedding vows that feel authentic and heartfelt.

How to Style Your Vow Books for Photos

Since vow books are often included in wedding detail photos, consider:

• Placing them next to your wedding rings
• Layering them over your invitation suite
• Styling them with ribbon that matches your bouquet
• Choosing cover colors that complement your wedding palette
• Include your ring box (perfect pop of color!)

Neutral vow books photograph beautifully and won’t compete with other details.

Frequently Asked Questions About Vow Books

Do vow books have to say his and hers?

No. Many couples now choose vow books that are gender neutral, minimalist, or personalized with names instead of traditional labels.

What should vow books say on the front?

Common alternatives include “Vows”, “Our Promises”, first names, wedding date, or completely blank covers.

Are vow books worth it?

Yes. Vow books make it easier to read your vows during the ceremony and become a meaningful keepsake afterward.

Make It Completely Yours

At the end of the day, vow books are deeply personal. If “his and hers” doesn’t feel right, skip it. There are no rules here.

Your vows are about your promises. Not labels. Not tradition for tradition’s sake. Just the two of you.

Danielle, I hope this helps you find something that feels simple, special, and totally yours. If you find a favorite, send it our way. I love seeing what you choose.

Tip: If you see a design you love, order early. Handmade vow books can take time to produce, especially during peak wedding season.

Happy Planning!

xo
Emma

P.S. Have a wedding question you can’t find anywhere else? Send it to Ask Emmaline and we’ll track it down for you.