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Should you invite all of your wedding guests to the ceremony and the reception?
Is it rude to invite some to the reception but not the ceremony?
In this blog post, we’ll tackle the tricky etiquette question of whether you should invite all wedding guests to the ceremony and reception.
Bride-to-be Veronica writes us with this question:
“Dear Emmaline, I’m planning my wedding but the ceremony space we love only holds 50 guests maximum. The reception hall we would like to book holds a maximum of 350 guests. I’d love to have a larger wedding and I’m tempted to invite some guests to the ceremony but not the reception. Is it rude for some guests to be invited to the reception but not wedding?”
Great question, Veronica, and I totally hear your troubles. When you find a ceremony space that epitomizes your dream day, it can be tough when the space is small.
But here is why, as a rule of thumb, everyone should be invited to the ceremony and the reception.
If you want the quick answer, here’s exactly who gets invited to the wedding.
Here’s EXACTLY Who Gets Invited to the Wedding Ceremony and Reception
Answer: everyone!
Every guest on your guest list is invited to the reception and the ceremony.
Here’s why.
Wedding Guests Invited to the Reception But Not Wedding?
When planning your wedding, you are not able to pick and choose who is invited to the ceremony and who gets an invitation to the reception.
While it may feel tempting to do it with such an awesome ceremony space, the proper way to do it is to do one of two things:
If your ceremony space is what you’re dreaming of — and only holds 50 guests — you’ll need to decide which is more important.
Either you’ll get married there and have a small, beautiful and intimate ceremony (and throw a party at a restaurant or hall afterward).
Or you’ll need to choose a different venue for the ceremony and invite everyone you wish to be in attendance followed by the large reception bash in the event space that holds everyone.
So, here’s a breakdown of your two options:
OPTION 1: Cut your guest list and plan a small ceremony and reception.
You will need to whittle down your guest list to the 50 maximum number for occupancy at your ceremony, followed by a small but beautiful reception at a smaller venue or reception.
or
OPTION 2: Choose a different ceremony space and plan a big wedding celebration.
You will need to find an alternate ceremony space that holds a larger number of guests, then follow through on your original plan of having a big reception at the hall.
Why Everyone Gets Invited
You may be wondering… okay, but why? Why is it important to invite all guests?
The ceremony is the focal point of the wedding day. While it’s true that most hours are spent at the reception, and the ceremony may be quite short, it’s important to remember the marriage vows you take is the focal point of the day.
Many forget this, as the reception gets all the attention with its meal choices and favors, decorations, and good dance floor music.
But the ceremony is the point of the entire celebration: you’re uniting in marriage! Guests wish to be present to see you exchange vows, rings, the whole deal!
Many will feel hurt if they aren’t “picked” to be a part of the ceremony and only invited to the reception.
Also, it can be confusing for many when there is a reception-only invitation without an explanation.
Similarly, guests would feel just as awkward if some were invited to the ceremony but not to the reception.
How to Decide: Small Wedding or Large Wedding?
To decide, you’ll want to discuss two things with your partner: guest list and budget. These two go hand-in-hand.
If you can only afford to have a small wedding, that’s OK! Go for it! You’ll need to cut your guest list but you’ll get to choose the small ceremony space you have in mind.
On the other hand, if a large wedding is what you are dreaming of and can realistically afford, go for it! You can find a different (yet I’m sure gorgeous) venue space for the ceremony and follow it up with that big bash you’re envisioning for the reception.
First, decide the budget, and make a final guest list.
Next, decide where to hold your ceremony in a space that can accommodate the entire guest list.
Finally, locate venues that work with your budget and your guest list.
What about reception-only weddings?
While it’s true that reception-only weddings do exist, most of them are for extenuating circumstances. For instance, some couples were unable to get married due to the pandemic, so they eloped at the courthouse and planning a large reception bash a year or two later.
In that case, guests understood why and it made total sense.
Other times, there are situations where a family member is ill and the couple wishes to plan an elopement immediately, while pushing back the date of the reception later. The difference comes when you can fully plan a ceremony and a reception, but decide to not invite certain people to save space or money. That would be considered rude, and I would not recommend it.
Life happens and you can make adjustments in these ways when necessary without feeling rude or impolite.
You CAN have a reception-only wedding and not invite all guests to the ceremony. However, the other way around won’t work: you can’t invite some guests to a ceremony and not the reception.
PRO TIP: If needed, you can send reception only invitations that can make it clear to guests there is a reception only.
I hope that makes sense. I know that can be a tough call, especially when you’re dreaming of a particular ceremony space. But etiquette wise, that is my best advice.
TL;DR
Invite everyone from the guest list to your wedding. If the space doesn’t hold them all, you’ll need to find another venue.
I don’t make the rules, I just follow them to the hilt. ;)
Once you decide which path to take, you can find invitations here to match the tone and theme of your wedding from Minted.
Hope it helps!
xo
Emma
This is a sponsored post.
