Does a save the date mean you’re invited to the wedding? Let’s discuss this tricky etiquette question.
Be careful when sending a save the date: it means the recipient is an official guest! If you send one and they are later not invited, that would be a major faux pas. Yikes!
Sometimes, things change such as budgets, venues, the size of your wedding, and more. This is why it is crucial to wait before sending save the dates until you’re absolutely sure they are on the list.
Do Save the Dates Mean a Guest Is Invited to the Wedding?
Today we’re tackling this question that came in from bride-to-be, Ashleigh, who wants to know if a save the date confirms a guest is an official guest.
She writes,
“Dear Emmaline, I’m sending save-the-date cards but my fiance and I aren’t completely set on our guest list yet. Does a save the date mean you’re absolutely invited to the wedding? Thanks for your help.”
YES!
A million times, yes. As a rule of thumb, a save the date means the recipient is invited to the wedding.
It is the easiest way for a guest to know ahead of time that they are, in fact, on the guest list.
Do not send a save-the-date card to anyone on the list unless you’re absolutely certain they are invited.
The same applies to sending save-the-dates with “and Family” on the card unless you’re 100% sure you’ll be inviting kids to the wedding.
When in doubt, here’s the proper etiquette for sending save the dates when you’re unsure of your guest list.
1. Wait until your guest list is complete.
Once you have a final number and every guest is listed, go ahead and send save-the-dates to everyone.
OR
2. Send save-the-date cards ONLY to select guests.
It is perfectly acceptable to send save the date cards to a small number of guests. You do not have to send save the date cards at all, but you cannot send any to guests who are not included; that would be a major faux pas.
Instead, simply send the cards to guests you know, for certain, are on the final guest list. Things change all the time and guest lists sometimes need to be cut, so this is a good rule of thumb to follow.
Your small list of save-the-date recipients can be your VIP family members: parents, siblings, grandparents, favorite aunts and uncles, and favorite cousins. You get the idea.
This way, if you need to cut your guest list later, no one will know!
Do all guests receive save the dates?
Not necessarily. It is better to err on the side of caution and send the cards to a select group of confirmed guests rather than send to everyone.
However, if you know your guest list is confirmed, yes, send a card to every guest on the list. They’ll love to receive one!
Do you have to send save the date cards to everyone on your guest list?
This question is slightly different: must you send cards to everyone on the list?
Not necessarily.
Since save-the-date cards aren’t formal and are not required, it is acceptable to send them to a small number of guests and not everyone on the guest list. This is great if you need to cut costs, or you’re not certain about the size of the guest list just yet. Remember, it’s always better to wait until you know for sure, rather than sending one to a guest who is later not invited. Yikes!
TL;DR
Do not, for any reason, send a save the date if they are not invited, as a save the date means you’re invited to the wedding. Once you send it, you cannot take it back! :)
For other questions, let me know and I’ll swoop in to help.
I hope it answers your question.
For affordable options, check out our list: 9 Places to Buy Cheap Save the Dates.
xo
Emma
