Wondering who to ask to be a bridesmaid? How do you even pick bridesmaids to be in your wedding?! We’ll tackle your most asked questions to make this a stress-free experience. Read on for more and subscribe for the latest to your inbox!
Being asked to be a bridesmaid is quite an honor. But when it comes to choosing bridesmaids for your wedding, some brides struggle with deciding how many bridesmaids to have, who to ask to be a bridesmaid, and how to pop the question. These questions hanging over your head can lead to additional stress you really don’t need as you prepare for your wedding day. This blog post will (hopefully!) alleviate the pressure of picking the perfect bridesmaids and guide your experience to make it an enjoyable one.
Let’s get started!
How to Pick Bridesmaids
First things first: how do you pick bridesmaids? Consider the people with whom you are closest. Traditionally, couples select bridesmaids and groomsmen from within their immediate families and close friends’ circles.
Then, consider those with whom you are close in your extended family.
Finally, friends or co-workers with whom you’ve grown close in the past few years may be good candidates as bridesmaids, as long as you can foresee keeping in touch for years to come.
Here are some frequently asked questions that brides want to know as soon as they’re faced with who to ask to be a bridesmaid.
Is it mandatory to ask my future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid?
No, you are not required to ask your sister-in-law or future brother-in-law, cousin, sister, or someone with whom you are not close. It is a nice gesture, but it is not mandatory.
Do you have to ask someone to be a bridesmaid because you were at their wedding?
Ah, this is a good one: many times, brides feel pressure to ask someone to be a bridesmaid in their wedding only because they served as or were invited to be an attendant in theirs. This is not a good reason to pick someone to be a bridesmaid. Hopefully, you are still close enough to the person and want to ask them because they are an important part of your life. However, asking them solely based on the fact they asked you isn’t really a good reason to be an attendant.
Instead, focus on your relationship. Is she supportive of your marriage? How close are you? Do you consider her a good bridesmaid candidate? Remember, it is also OK to invite her to be a guest instead. This can be a tricky situation, but ultimately the call is yours to make as the bride.
Do you need to ask an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?
No, you do not need to have an equal amount of bridesmaids or groomsmen on either side.
While it may feel more cohesive to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen on either side — and, sure, it works well for photos and pairing down the procession — you shouldn’t ask someone to be a bridesmaid just to create uniformity.
Plus, most professional photographers have practical ways to create a sense of balance when walking down the aisle and for posing for photos.
Who Should I Ask to Be a Bridesmaid?
Now here’s the big question: who should you ask to be a bridesmaid in your wedding?
There are 8 great tips for picking who to be in your wedding — and who NOT to ask. I’m outlining them in the list below and also in the short video here. ↓
1. Ask someone who is 100% supportive of your marriage.
Only ask someone to be a bridesmaid if she is 100% in favor of your marriage and likes your partner.
2. Ask someone who is enthusiastic about your wedding.
If someone doesn’t respect the idea of marriage or doesn’t like attending weddings, they’re not a good candidate to be a bridesmaid at yours. :)
3. Don’t ask somebody who’s going to drive you absolutely crazy.
It’s the truth!
4. Don’t ask someone to be a bridesmaid who always tries to “One-Up” you.
They’ll be doing it all the time. This happens most when two friends are getting married around the same time and stand up in each other’s wedding, commenting on things they would do differently. It can be a real headache!
5. Ask someone who is super fun…
… because fun bridesmaids are your people! They’ll make the wedding and the celebrations leading up to it even more memorable.
6. Don’t ask someone who may have lots of obligations going on in their lives.
While it is not a burden to them to be in your wedding — and they may love to do so — they may have other obligations that prevent them from doing it. Ask them to be a guest instead.
7. Don’t ask a bridesmaid who will stress you out.
No additional stress needed, thank you very much!
8. Don’t pick somebody who wants to steal the spotlight.
You’re the bride! It’s your day. You enjoy it!
How Many Bridesmaids Should You Pick?
The typical average number of bridesmaids is between four and six bridesmaids.
When Should You Ask Bridesmaids
The best time to ask bridesmaids to be at your wedding is ASAP! Ideally, you’ll pop the question between eight months to one year before the wedding date. If that time has already passed and you haven’t asked yet, don’t panic: just make an effort to ask as soon as possible.
How to Ask Bridesmaids
You can make it as simple as a phone call or an in-person conversation or as complex as an elaborate gift to propose to bridesmaids. If you choose to give a gift, keep it simple: it doesn’t need to be expensive to be memorable.
Here are some suggestions of gifts to ask bridesmaids to be a part of your wedding that won’t break the bank. You should aim to spend around $5 to $15 dollars on a small gift; a bridesmaid box like this (so cute!) or more extravagant proposal gift will cost $20+ to upwards of $75. Remember: it’s the thought that matters, not the amount you spend.
• Bridal Party Socks, $7: Get these by BlissfulSocks when you know who to ask to be bridesmiads.
• Tie the Knot Bracelet, $4.99+: A sweet gift for your bridesmaids to wear. By AlacrityGifts.
• Be My Bridesmaid Box, $16.95: A cute proposal box with gifts to pop the question. By GraceBloomCo.
• Bridesmaid Cookies, price varies: Ask with… cookies! Um, immediate yes, I say! By GlamourCookiesStore.
• Hair Scrunchies, $2.80+: Give the gift of a scrunchie! Everyone could use one and these are extra special with a tag that asks to be a bridesmaid. Made of velvet and available in many colors. By PoshPartyLA.
• I Can’t Say I Do Without You Candle, $5.75: Give your bridesmaids a sweet candle in your favorite scent with a label that pops the question. By WickandBar.
• Mini Champagne Bottles, labels $2: Buy mini champagne bottles here and add these sweet labels to them by TheFizzyMermaids.
• Card, $3+: Ask with a card! It’s nice, affordable, simple, and just as sweet. Get this one at PetalPaperCo.
How to Pick Bridesmaids If You Have No Friends
Not everyone is lucky enough to have close friends or siblings. If you’re faced with no one you can ask to play such an important role in your wedding, don’t fret.
Maybe you do not know someone who is close enough to call a bridesmaid or a Maid of Honor. Perhaps you’re not comfortable having a bridal party or you simply prefer to skip it altogether.
A wedding party is not mandatory: you do not actually have to pick bridesmaids or groomsmen at all in order to get married. A wedding party began as a pair of witnesses to do just that: witness the marriage and sign their names on the marriage license to make it official. In decades past, it has grown to become a support team for the couple.
If you do not have anyone to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor, it is OK to skip it completely. Instead, be seated with your new spouse at a sweetheart table — just the two of you! — at the reception and ask close family members to serve as witnesses and sign the marriage document.
Creating a Balance of Friendship Groups
It is important to note that picking bridesmaids and groomsmen who will get along together and work well as a group will only make your event more memorable and fun. If you know certain people won’t jive well with others, it may be a good idea to consider who in the group is best suited as an attendant — and who should receive an invitation as a guest instead.
How to Avoid Fights and Hurt Feelings
What’s wedding planning without a little stress? I kid. But really, picking bridesmaids can sometimes come with hurt feelings and disappointment from those who thought they would be asked, but ultimately did not get invited to be a bridesmaid. This happens and unfortunately, it’s just a part of life.
But you can do your best to select those with whom you have a solid relationship to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor and just know, deep down, that if someone really loves you and respects you, not being a bridesmaid won’t cause them to cut you from their life. And if so, that’s no real friend anyway.
In conclusion, picking bridesmaids is not as easy as you may have thought it would be. However, this guide hopefully makes the process seem but easier and more straightforward. When you know the ideal number of bridesmaids to choose and how to handle the dynamics within your family and friend circles, you’ll be able to choose bridal party attendants that make your wedding day more memorable. I hope this list helps you to move forward and ask bridesmaids with less stress and more enjoyment.
On to you: how many bridesmaids are you asking to be at your wedding? Tell me in the comment box below.