Today we’ll tell you the things NOT to do when you get engaged. You’ll be surprised at how many of these are the first things couples do after getting engaged, but they don’t even know they’re doing it. Avoid these mistakes + subscribe now for the latest to your inbox!
You’re engaged: congrats! It’s one of the most exciting and memorable times in your life. Are there things you should do once you get engaged? Of course! But there are also things NOT to do when you get engaged, so we’re tackling that big list of mistakes to avoid today.
You’ve probably wondered the question: I’m engaged, now what? That’s a very common question couples ask right off the bat, and they look up things like what to do when you get engaged, or what do you call your boyfriend or girlfriend when you get engaged, or who do you tell first when he/she pops the question.
These are all such good questions and we’ll answer them all, along with the BIG mistakes couples tend to make when they get engaged, simply because no one knows better. Most likely, this is your first engagement and it’s only natural to have no idea what to do first.
I mean, this really IS your first rodeo.
We’ve been there, got the t-shirt (or hoodie), and learned a few things from couples we’ve worked with. So, here’s what you need to know: 9 things NOT to do when you get engaged.
Engaged Tips: Best Advice for Newly-Engaged Couples
Here are the best tips for newly engaged couples including things NOT to do when you get engaged. Enjoy!
Newly Engaged Tips, #1. DON’T post your engagement ring pics on social media until you tell these people.
Tell anyone who is close to you FIRST! It’s tempting to post an IG picture, but do you really want your closest cousin or grandmother finding out the news on Facebook? Instead, give a quick phone call and/or visit in person to show your ring and tell the whole story.
Then, by all means, post the news on every social media channel you’d like! :)
Tag us on Instagram, we’d love to see your ring selfie! (We’re @EmmalineBride.)
Newly Engaged Tips, #2. DON’T make plans just yet.
Soak it in. Your mind is probably running a mile a minute, thinking of all the things you’d like to do for your wedding and who to invite and where it will be held. Don’t make any definite plans yet… just savor the moment. You’ll get to all the wedding planning fun soon enough!
Newly Engaged Tips, #3. DON’T ask your wedding party yet.
You can choose your wedding party in your mind, but don’t ask anyone “officially” just yet.
This one’s totally up to you, but it is an important mistake to avoid in case you don’t think it through well enough.
In all honesty, I did ask my wedding party immediately, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing about who I asked; simply put, I knew my small crew of four very well and it worked perfectly.
However, I’ve heard stories from many other brides who have asked right away after getting engaged — will you be my bridesmaid? — and it can pose a problem if you think it through later and, ahem, have different ideas in mind.
You may go with a smaller group, a larger group, or you might not want to choose a certain person in your wedding party.
So, before you ask, take a breath — right now, don’t make any decisions, as mentioned in #2!
Engaged Things to Do, #4. DON’T say yes to anything.
Hey, pressure… get outta here! Instead of feeling pressure from people right from the get-go — “will it be in the spring?! spring is perfect! you HAVE TO do peonies!” — just smile and nod. Add nice feedback, but don’t agree to anything. Be respectful, as people are certainly just excited about the big wedding to come.
But it’s OKAY to have no freaking idea what you are doing just yet… and it’s perfectly acceptable to simply say, “We’re not sure yet on specific details just yet, but we are excited to start planning as soon as possible!”
On the other hand, DON’T say NO to anything either. ;) You may really need someone’s help down the road, or you might just want your cousin to be a bridesmaid. Right now, you’re just sailing along and riding the waves. Feel the sun. Get excited. Eventually, you’ll put a map in place; but it’s OK to enjoy the ride for the moment.
Engaged Things to Do, #5. DON’T forget to get your ring sized.
If it slips off your finger and you lose it, and you DON’T have insurance, what will you do? Make sure your ring is secure on your finger. Get it sized and/or do this to keep your ring from spinning. It’s a genius fix and it’s super cheap.
Engaged Things to Do, #6. DON’T set your ring on the sink.
This one is cute, too! You can put your engagement ring inside and it even features your engagement date. Pick silver or gold to coordinate with your ring. By EvesArtShop.
What Not to Do When You Get Engaged, #7. DO NOT sign anything with vendors just yet.
What of the biggest things not to do when you get engaged is to immediately book all of your vendors.
It is really too early in the game to book most vendors, except a wedding planner if you decide to have one (it’s a great idea to do so). At this point, you’ll still need to find the venue for the ceremony and reception first, and then settle on a date; so right now, just soak it in.
If you book a wedding planner, that is the first place you can get the ball rolling; it’s a great way to get started without getting overwhelmed.
P.S. We say this from experience, as we plan full-service weddings, as well as day-of — reach out here if you need assistance!
Newly Engaged Tips, #8. DON’T forget to take pictures!
Here’s one of the biggest things not to do when you get engaged: skip the pics! You’ll love looking back on the moment you said yes… and the adventure began.
My favorite engagement pictures are the ones where the soon-to-be bride’s eyes are a little red from crying, or you’re both laughing, or you have a sneaky photographer capturing your proposal as it happens in the bushes somewhere (LOVE THAT!)
So, don’t forget to take lots of pictures: the proposal, the “just said yes!” moment, the ring selfie, the engagement party, etc.
Go one step further and hire an engagement photographer if you’d like! Read 3 reasons why you should take engagement pictures for tips. It really is an excellent way to get more comfortable in front of the camera before the wedding day (and get acquainted with a potential wedding day photographer).
Newly Engaged Tips, #9. DON’T buy a wedding dress.
You don’t know the time of year you’ll get married yet, or the venue, or your beautiful wedding theme and colors. Look at gowns? Try them on? Yes and yes!! But don’t buy anything until you at least set a date. :)
If you are tempted to buy a dress, buy an engagement party dress! You can wear it now, to your engagement party, to your wedding shower, and to any other pre-wedding festivities. It’s a great thing to own right now since you can get a lot of use out of it! Here’s a tip: you can search for little white dresses here. These are great dresses at affordable prices, all perfect for pre-wedding parties!
This particular shop offers many “fan photos” where real customers share what they look like in the dress. It really helps to decide if the dress is really how you envision in real life, or if you need a different color, size, length, etc.
I love this pretty lace dress! By Lulus.
BONUS: DON’T get immediately consumed with wedding planning.
Take your time! Don’t talk all-wedding, 24/7. Don’t forget to go on fun dates together still! Read a few helpful wedding books, get a wedding planning organizer (this one is brilliant), hire a wedding planner, ya know, listen to a wedding podcast… and go from there. You’ll love planning if you don’t get stressed out / overwhelmed with too much too fast. :)
While you’re at it, get the most comfortable wedding shoes you can find ASAP. The sooner you have them, the quicker you can get them worn in just enough for the big day.
Now that you know the best newly engaged tips (+ what NOT to do), it’s time to kick off the festivities!
Are you newly engaged? Did these engagement tips help you? Tell us about it in the comment box below or add your own! We’d love to hear from you.