We love a great wedding advice question! This one comes from bride-to-be, Lauren, who wants to know: does the best man pay for anything? If so, what does the best man pay for exactly?
She writes,
“Hi Emmaline, I’m planning a summer wedding for next year and my fiance and I just asked our bridesmaids and groomsmen to stand up in our wedding. Our Best Man has already offered to pay for his suit and throw the bachelor party, but I don’t want the costs to burden him. My question is, what does the best man pay for?”
Hi Lauren! How wonderful — I’m sure your wedding party is excited to be a part of the fun. Great question, one that many couples often wonder about as they start to put together the wedding budget.
Traditionally speaking, yes, the Best Man does pay for things as a part of his duties for the wedding. But these costs do not include contributing to the wedding itself, i.e. paying for food or the bar, the DJ, etc.
Instead, here’s exactly what the best man pays for — and why.
Best Man Duties
The Best Man is not there to pay for things, but rather as the primary support to the groom. As such, he can handle tasks that may come up, such as helping the groom pick out his tux or suit; figuring out the bachelor party, and making sure the groomsmen have their attire ordered on time, picked up, and returned to the retailer.
Here’s a complete list of what the best man pays for and what his duties are, leading up to and including the wedding day.
• Help with groomsmen attire
The Best Man pays for his own suit or tuxedo rental. He makes sure the groomsmen have the attire they need — it fits, and is ordered on time — but the Best Man does not pay for the groomsmen attire (that is their responsibility).
• Write a toast and deliver it on the wedding day
There is no cost associated here!
• Plan the bachelor party
The Best Man pays for the bachelor party, but typically groomsmen will chip in, too. The goal: the groom doesn’t pay for a thing with the bachelor party.
• Hold the rings
This one’s important: the Best Man holds onto the rings during the ceremony until it’s time for the exchange of rings.
• Provides support to the groom
Any last-minute tasks, crazy debates, family drama, etc. is what the best man can also provide. Nothing to pay for here, either! :)
• Serve as a witness
The Best Man serves as one of the witnesses for the wedding ceremony and signs the marriage certificate.
• Attend the rehearsal
No costs here — just attend the rehearsal and dinner (if applicable) and assist wherever needed.
• Decorate the wedding vehicle
The Best Man pays for decorations and decorates the getaway car for the couple.
This can be done with a wedding decal, these tin cans, flowers, or any of these! Get creative!
Here are adorable tin cans that are handmade by YayDetails for the big day… and personalized for the couple, too!
• Buy a wedding gift
The Best Man buys a wedding gift for the groom. He can also give a wedding gift for the couple, just as any wedding guest would. There is no particular amount here, just something nice the couple might enjoy. The gift is given on the wedding day.
• Return any attire after the wedding
If suits or tuxes were rented for the groom, the Best Man handles returning it to the store. This is helpful as the groom is usually en route to a honeymoon, so this won’t be something of which he has to be concerned. Groomsmen typically return their suits, but the Best Man can offer to take everything back at once.
And there you have it! There aren’t too many Best Man duties or things the Best Man pays for, but it’s helpful to have this list available to forward on to him.
This list can change depending on your needs or requests, to be sure to let him know if there is something you’d like him to assist with ahead of time.
And, of course, giving a Best Man gift is a great way to say thank you for being a part of the wedding.
Hope it helps + thanks for writing!
xo
Emma
