New week, new Ask Emmaline question! This week, Anna wants to know if it is tacky to have a honeymoon fund at her wedding. She writes,
“Hi Emmaline, a friend of mine recently got married and she had a honeymoon fund sign out at her wedding, asking guests to contribute to it using a QR code. She said she received a nice amount of money from it for their trip and recommends I do the same. But I’m on the fence about it. Something about it feels rude to me. Is it tacky to do a honeymoon fund?”
Hi Anna! Great question. We’ve recently talked about tacky wedding mistakes couples made, however a honeymoon fund was not listed on there quite yet. This idea of asking guests to contribute towards your dream honeymoon or fund of another sort (aka cash registry) can seem tacky to some, but it’s really how you look at it and how you go about it.
Let’s discuss it.
I don’t believe it is tacky to have a honeymoon fund, but only when it’s done properly. Here’s how to do it with proper wedding etiquette.
Placing the Honeymoon Fund Sign / Registry List
PRO TIP: Where you place the honeymoon fund means a great deal in the world of wedding etiquette.
For instance, placing a honeymoon fund sign like this or a honeymoon box at the wedding reception itself may be considered tacky by most. This isn’t the honeymoon fund itself – which I think is a fun idea – but rather how it is presented and received by your guests.
Guests are already in attendance at your wedding, celebrating the occasion with you; moreover, they’ve likely brought a gift along of some sort, whether it be a boxed gift or a gift of money. By asking for them to contribute even more money to the honeymoon admittedly does look tacky and seems like an obvious cash grab.
Bridal Shower Honeymoon Registry
Now, placing it at your bridal shower? That’s a suitable option if you want to do it. But I would err on the side of caution at the reception itself.
Some would say the same about the old precedent of a “money dance”, where guests pay to dance with the bride and the money goes towards the couple’s honeymoon. Times and traditions have changed!
Rather than placing a sign, consider doing this instead. If you list your honeymoon registry or cash registry on your wedding website under the ‘Registry’ tab – along with your other traditional gift registries, like Amazon or Zola – you can rest easy knowing you didn’t make an etiquette faux pas. Guests can pick and choose what they’d like to give you as a gift, and if they’d like to contribute towards your amazing honeymoon trip to Italy or your cash registry for a down-payment on a house, so be it. By providing options on your registry, they can make the decision that works best for them.
Here’s how it looks:
I see how the honeymoon fund is growing in popularity, or cash registries in general, and it makes sense. With more couples tying the knot later in life, or putting more emphasis on experience gifts rather than “stuff”. Some couples don’t necessarily want physical gifts or stuff to add to their overwhelming heap of kitchen towels, gadgets, small appliances, and bedding. It’s only natural to want a modern option – like a cash registry – to build on this trend.
However, I do recommend you offer a variety for guests to choose from: a traditional one with a few gifts you could use at home, along with the cash or honeymoon registry of your choice. Need a recommendation? We highly recommend Honeyfund. Find out why here.
Final Notes
Now, if you do go ahead and forget what I said and place a honeymoon registry sign at your wedding anyway, saying, oh well, it’s my wedding, we’re doing it anyway, fair enough! It is YOUR wedding, after all.
Hope it helps. :) Thanks for writing!
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xo
Emma
